Wednesday, June 15, 2011

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Koalas Need To Chill With The STDs And Maybe Eat Something Other Than Eucalyptus Leaves

Nameless, faceless Koalas just GETTING after it all over Australia. Can't grab a beach chair without hearing some strange rustling in the trees. It'll ruin your day even more now that you know that the rustling is the sound of chlamydia being contracted.

You can't say it any simpler other than the fact that Koala Bears are fucking up on so many levels. Living life having unprotected sex and really not establishing a second food option aside from a Eucalyptus tree. If a Eucalyptus tree dies or gets cut down, do like 15 Koalas die in that region? Eat some bugs or something fellas, don't put your high values above yourself. You guys are too bizarrely adorable to all of a sudden go extinct.

I'm down to direct/produce a weird Koala safe-sex PSA as well as plant a few Eucalyptus trees in the fields to do my part. Lying distantly behind penguins are koalas as the exotic animal I want to irresponsibly own.

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