Wednesday, June 29, 2011

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I'd Sprain My Ankle/Throw-Up So Fast On The 3D Basketball Court

Germany, what are you doing bro? Just lay low for awhile. You guys are literally inches away from sweeping some of your, um, "dirt" under the rug and you pull this bullshit. Dirk Nowitzki can't right this wrong, let alone hit a mid-range jumper out here.

I'm wearing an ankle brace just writing this post. I can't imagine what the deal is with rebounds out there. A casual miss off the back rim might bounce down and end up in the highway. There's no way anyone can succeed. Not even Slamball dudes. You're just treading water the whole time trying to figure out what hill or knoll your teammates are behind. Also, what's good with a lay-up out here? There's like a 50% chance you unexpectedly dunk it or fall to your doom. Like a 20 foot drop or some shit.

The minute it's revealed that Dirk practiced on these courts as a youth, is the minute I'm 3Ding the shit out my local street court and putting up one misguided-over-hill jumper after another.

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